Ideal "Match"

Okay, so as lame as this is going to sound, recently I've found myself turning more and more towards the online dating world as an option to actually find somebody to connect with. I mean, I've been with a site for quite awhile now but I've never actually gotten to the point of meeting any of the "potential" guys in person because they've either crapped out or I've lost confidence and just stopped talking to them. I'm a rather shy, insecure gal (sad but true) when it comes to the opposite sex and I don't really know if it's a relationship that scares me or what they'll think when they see me in person (again, sad but true).

Anyways, while filling out the profile options for these sites (to remain nameless because I'm not out to promote) I alway find it hard to fill out the "About Me" and "What you're looking for" portions. I love to talk...and anybody who is close to me knows that I can talk about anything for long periods of time if the topic of interest is interesting to me. When it comes to writing about myself though, I get stuck. It's not that I can't write STUFF about myself, but how do I portray it so it's appealing to those who actually read it? Do they really want to know about my dorky side that pretty much makes up 75% of who I am? What can I say that will interest the other party but still keep true to myself? It's difficult enough as it is but adding this into the mixture does not help my situation at all.

Now as for the "What you're looking for" section...that's a whole other topic. I mean, sure there's the "dream" guy that I have pictured in my mind, but seriously...who can honestly live up to that full potential. I blame movies and perfect romances for putting those ideas into my head because I'm starting to believe there's nothing out there for me - based on what I've been "dreaming" about all my life. Being in my situation, I don't really have the right to be picky. I haven't been out there enough to cringe at certain habits, and to roll my eyes at others. I can't really say what I am really into or what aspects of their personality I think will be compatible with mine. *sighs*.

I honestly wish there was an easier process to this. A machine that can do all the perfect matching thing and just let it happen that way. That or I need a serious upgrade to my confidence and self-esteem because as of right now at this instance - I am barely above the water.

Blah.

It's always hard to say what I feel. 

Yes I'm an emotional person - I'm an Aquarius, it's in the stars - but I'm not always good at showing and expressing what I'm feeling inside. I tend to hole up and push it to the back of my mind. I guess in a sense I'm hoping that it will just disappear and I won't have to deal with it, but in the end it always creeps back up and this feeling hits - blah.


You know, the I'm-not-sad-or-angry-or-anything feeling? The feeling that just leaves you emotionally drained and just wanting to be left alone? That my friends, is the definition of 'blah'.